


One For the Gag Reel

by CrazyBeCat, elle_nic



Category: The Devil Wears Prada (2006)
Genre: Angst and Humor, Established Relationship, F/F, Fluff, Humor, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Light Angst, Minor Violence, No Actual Character Death
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-08
Updated: 2020-08-08
Packaged: 2021-03-05 20:47:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,105
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25781602
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CrazyBeCat/pseuds/CrazyBeCat, https://archiveofourown.org/users/elle_nic/pseuds/elle_nic
Summary: The show simply must go on...
Relationships: Miranda Priestly/Andrea Sachs
Comments: 14
Kudos: 78





	One For the Gag Reel

**Author's Note:**

  * For [iimzadi](https://archiveofourown.org/users/iimzadi/gifts).



> Brought to you by two high imbeciles is a oneshot of epic proportions of crackheadery.
> 
> For Iimi, who has recently had a rough day. Here is the balm to soothe all your worries :')
> 
> With love,  
> Elle & CBC xx

As evening settled around them, peacefulness, such as the crickets and the birds and the odd frog were drowned out entirely by the rounds of gunshots being fired. The warehouse was old even before The Sickness broke, but after? The structural integrity of the building was never more questionable. Especially as the five of them were fighting for their lives. 

Giselle had lasted the longest of the three, falling eventually anyway to the horde at their front from her post near a rusted, busted window. Stanley and Emily had been almost immediately taken down, their guns jamming and ultimately catalysing their doom. Then, once Giselle -- tall, beautiful Giselle -- fell, it was just down to her and her wife. 

Miriam glanced to her side as the sound of shots slowed, momentarily watching as Anna reloaded her weapon. “How many more do you have?” Miriam shouted as loud as she could.  
  
“Four cartridges left.” Anna looked back with a grimacing wink. “Hopefully enough to get the girls a big head start.” She gave a wavering smile. “I love you,” she said, before sticking herself part way back out the broken window and resuming her assault on the approaching mass.  
  
“I love you,” Miriam murmured, knowing Anna wouldn’t be able to hear over the sounds of their gunfire.

She turned her attention fully back to the horde in front of her, taking aim and shooting another two down. She only had three cartridges left, and she was closer to the zombies, as she couldn’t see distances as well as Anna could.  
  
It was only a matter of time, they both knew it, and it made Miriam sick to her stomach... but her daughters would be safe, at last, and she would die knowing they would be taken care of at the safe zone. She’d give them as much of a headstart as she could, ensuring that Stanley, Emily, and Giselle’s lives weren’t given in vain.

.oOo.

“Damnit,” Anna heard, followed by the subtle fumbling of Miriam’s newest and last round of ammo. She could see the end of the horde in that moment, and felt herself re-energised, hopeful, even, that the end was near. She held onto that hope as her second-to-last round was loaded into her gun, and then again when her last was loaded.

There were few left of the undead, and Anna felt that they were going to make it. They would make it to the safezone with their daughters. She and Miriam would finish off these last few, and then be quick to follow the path the twins had taken to safety. They would grieve their friends together and they would live. Or, at least, Anna felt certain about it until she heard Miriam’s scream and a zombie’s gargle.

She shot the zombie, relishing that the beast would feel pain before its demise before falling toward Anna, dead… _deader._ Stumbling on a cry, a wail of pure agony, Anna moved forward and toward her wife, her grief blinding her. She was seeing dots, blurs of wavering vision but nothing real and nothing that made sense to her overwhelmed brain.

Unfortunately, she was just a little _too_ blind, and stood on the zombie’s hand in her haste, tripping and falling awkwardly. “Shit!” both she and the zombie cried out. She tried to catch herself, but failed spectacularly, kneeing her wife squarely in the solar-plexus and knocking all the air from her lungs in a comical _woosh_. 

“Oof!” Miranda called out, she, herself, too engrossed in her acting to catch Andrea as she fell. 

“Fuck, honey, are you okay?” Andrea exclaimed, scrabbling upright and away from Miranda’s internal organs. 

“I didn’t think I’d need my double today,” Miranda wheezed with a breathless chuckle as her wife fussed over her.

“Me either,” James, the fallen and stepped on zombie piped up. 

“God, I’m such a dumbass,” Andrea laughed, noticing Nigel and Emily and Serena cracking up from their prone positions on the floor. “Shut up, you guys are supposed to be dead!”

“We actually _would_ be if it was up to you,” Nigel snarked, his makeup smudged to make him appear unwashed as his character was. 

“Reset guys! Miranda, you all good?” the director asked. 

“Fine, fine,” Miranda said as she was helped up by her sheepish wife. “God willing, this show will be done by tonight. What a gag reel the fans will have this season,” Miranda remarked, poking gentle fun at Andrea, who was very embarrassed.

“Sorry,” Andrea said, leaning in and gently pecking Miranda on her lips.

“It’s an adult show, but not _that_ kind of adult show!” called one of the teen intern boom-mic operators, Nate, if Miranda remembered correctly.

“As if you’d even be old enough to watch if it were,” Miranda countered sharply.  
  
The entire crew laughed, someone reaching over to jostle a scowling Nate’s shoulder. “She has you there, Nate.”

“Oh let him be, Christian,” Andrea called back gently, “those mics aren’t cheap, don’t make him drop it over your head.” The laughter on set grew, and Christian rolled his eyes, a playfully wry smile on his face.  
  
“Alright, alright, settle down, everyone,” the director rallied, chuckling lightly, “back to places please. From the top, let’s take it from the scene of Stanley falling to the ground and then panning to Miriam.”

The rest of the cast all stood and ambled back to their marks, chattering quietly to each other as they moved.  
  
Miranda and Andrea were delayed as make-up and wardrobe gave them a quick once-over to make sure everything was squared away after the collision.  
  
“Please avoid stepping on any hands again, darling,” Miranda teased.

“You mean you don’t want me to knee you in the belly again?” Andrea tossed back, giggling at Miranda’s affronted look. “I promise to be careful, now scoot on over to your mark,” she appeased.  
  
“Thank you.” Miranda gave Andrea another swift kiss, before they split to take their places.

As everyone settled into their marks and the camera crew took their positions, the director called for sound to play a gentle, almost far-off audio of crickets and night birds and such.

“Quiet on set!”  
  
The soft chatter in the air ended quickly, and only the background noises remained. Andrea was again transported to the early evening and the peacefulness that was about to be destroyed by the ring of gunshots. She felt herself descend back into her character, raising her prop gun and leaning out the broken window.

Hopefully, this take would be perfect… So long as she didn’t kill any of her costars, naturally.

“Ready, and, action,” the director called out.


End file.
